I figured. Impulse.

So i dont really remember when i last posted.
overall this week was a good one. yesterday was the dazzling diamonds dinner! it was quite fun. i got to see everyone dressed up again! I have to say, those mashed potatoes were good! so good. i love potatoes. i got a GPS as my award. i thought it was odd, but hey im not complaining. i got to sit with maggie and sheba. and people from the schoolboard. the head guy tried to talk me into becoming a teacher. he's silly.
galena park kids are weird.
i got to wear my blue dress! i love that thing, its so pretty and simple.

my school day was okay. same thing everyday. eh.
i went to the dermatologist today! my skin feels so much cleaner. like i lost 10 pounds on my head. maybe Big Head should do that. ah. im a bitch. I saw her today, she looked at me up and down. i did the same to her. I wonder if...woah i so forgot her codename. Blondie! haha. well i wonder if shes passing now. Fuete and her got into an argument today in class because of it. Wonder how they are doing now. Might as well go through my day now. in pre cal, i talked to Superficial and she told me about all the emo concerts shes gone too. i try not to call her stupid, but its implied. i so forgot most of the codenames... i have to go back and look. Speechless sat infront of me today. well. his name says it all. he really doesnt know me that well.

Well in second period Plath scolded at us. Didnt really talk much in this class. Frustration was getting on my nerves. the way he is, hes just so.... immature. he needs to start thinking differently. im probably not one to talk, but i really needed to let that out.
in choir. ahh. hmm. what should i call them. Bitchy and Attitude were telling me about having great sex yesterday. i kinda saw their true selves. i can see how they are best friends. i just.. its weird when i see them that way. Attitude is such an ass. there was a guy that i had never seen before waiting to talk to Bendorf. well i asked 'whos that?' and then Attitude says, 'why? you want to fuck him?' so rude... i wanted to say something but Bendorf told us to keep it down. shes disgusting. probably has an std or something. im speaking my mind...even if its mean.
that class is so boring now...

I dont sing as much as i used to. on my spare time anyways.

In fourth period we kept on working on the routine. i just like to use the equipment. i just wish i had more space. i hit the ceiling twice today. i think Ms Taylor saw >_<
In my food science class, we made brownies!
Ms. V picked our group today. so i wasnt with the usual people with. while the brownies were baking, i went off to talk to Bear. well Alcoholic, Slut, and Soccer (i think thats what i called her, that is even if i have mentioned her) were all together and taking pictures! i was waiting to see if they even noticed me or even remembered me. and.. SURPRISINGLY they did. hah. i didnt expect them to include me. i mean, i didnt think we were that... close i guess you could say. hmm but then again. we do have those weird open conversations.

ahh. those brownies were good.
Then off to biology. didnt do much at all. Raska just talked to us.

tomorrow i have tutorials until 3. i dont want to do anything. just lay around. i'll.. finally do that homework thats due on monday. actually turn it in on time. and do other stuff. it will be my lazy saturday. :]

well im bothered.
hopefully it'll get better. doubt it.

thats all for now.

One.

Today i had a really nice time with Smooshie :]
I ate so much today. I felt like i was going to splodeeeeee. I'm back to normal. or what normal is for me. :]

I had a really weird dream about a concert last night!
It would make you laugh. it would really take me forever to explain.

My left ear is bugging me. Its usually the right one but right now that one feels completely fine. I'll clean it again later and maybe that'll help.
I watched boy meets world on youtube today! im so lame :] that show is hilarious. i also watched sailor moon for a bit. ahh i love that show too :]

I went to shopping with my family in the afternoon! It was fun. I left my car keys where i was trying on these really pretty shoes >.< my dad didnt even get mad which was really surprising.
some emo kid hit on me... it was annoying.
my brother and i had a really fun time though :D

thats all for now.

laker game tonight!

Sailor Mars

Prom was yesterday! It was fun. Afterwards was shaky but i ate! haha :D
and today was my birthday. I had fun despite my tantrums.
It wasnt like my past ones, but its okay. I got to spend basically the whole day with Smooshie. I got my ears pierced!
and...it didnt hurt. the second one stung, but it wasnt like how people make it out to be.

short post.
i'll update more later with picturessss.


thats all for now

I'm up

Ahh.
So i guess this is the day i've been waiting for right?
Hah. no not really. Its more of a drag actually.
I'm going to get my hair done with Indian and I think she mentioned Stubborn coming along... aish.
Well shes picking me up at 12 30.
and thus my day begins. i already took a shower and today is going to go by fast. i can already tell. i just want it to be tomorrow already. I want to go get my ears pierced but my dad doesnt want me to do anything for my birthday...
we'll see how it goes. its fine if he doesnt let me i suppose.
he kind of makes me feel bad. like i waste a lot of money. its really odd to me because i try to spend as less as possible and i get stressed out because of it. i know he can afford it but he always makes me feel horrible when i ask for money. so i just try to use as less as possible. only for food and gas really.
i rarely splurge on myself with little things. i'd like to every once in awhile. i cant complain though. they buy me clothes and all when we go out. i'd just like to do it on my own every so often. i guess i'll need a job for that one.

Im feeling better than yesterday. My period is fading faster than these stupid emotions. I sleep a lot now. naps and at night i fall asleep fairly early (compared to how it used to be). I guess its a good thing. Less time for thinking. I usually have negative thoughts.

I had a dream. It was by my old apartments. It was at night. I was wearing all black and was with someone. i forgot who it was, but i know them. i cant even remember if it was a boy or girl. anyways, we were driving around my old neighborhood just looking at the place. On the sidewalk my old friend Victoria was being harassed by a guy. we kept driving past that to the back alley where the 'incident' happened. there was a group of guys and they were talking. as soon as i saw them i freaked out and turned the car around to another alley. they were following us and we ended up stopping behind a house. we forced ourselves inside and went through the house and came out through the front where there was a main street. i cant remember anything past that.
i also remember going to a play with Blackberry and other choir girls. but thats all for that part. ahh..theres way more. i know it. i just need to remember...
i think my dreams mean more than most peoples. thats why i always think about them...and try to figure out their meaning.


Before going to sleep i was talking to Smooshie. It feels like we're fighting... i guess we're just angry at each other. I always think false thoughts of him. I know theyre not true, but i get consumed by them. all i know is i have to stop that.

I didnt go to the dermatologist yesterday. i have to go next week though. maybe i'll go on wednesday when i get my license renewed. instead of school. I kind of feel bad because i havent missed school since freshman year. i wanted to keep my 3 year streak going! now i know how Rhythm feels with his perfect attendance all throughout school! i dont know if its like high school years or all years of school. im gonna ask. i might ask the doctor to write me a doctors note. :]
i always have fun when i go. even if i go through pain. so i was a little disappointed when my dad said it was best not to go. i was still thinking of going actually. but my dad really didnt seem like he wanted to. i knew he got tired of taking me. i understand why...its a hassle for him. and in a way its a hassle for me too. but i love going there. i'm gonna be sad when i stop going. i dont have to worry about that for a long while though. i asked the doctor how much longer it was gonna be before my skin completely cleared up and my scars were at a minimum. he said he was shooting for the fall. January 29th was the first time i went!

So for pop show, a few people wanted me to sing girls just wanna have fun by cindy lauper or however he name is spelled. I said yes.
but i want to do a different song.
i was thinking what hurts the most, but the cascada version. i think im gonna try out. i pretty much know the words, i just have to find the instrumental track. and change a few pitches. it would be fun.
ahh the beat to that song makes me smile.

i'm gonna go spend time with my brother before i have to leave.
thats all for now.

Hm.

I'm home. Nothings really changed.

Dont have much else to say. I guess this post is pointless.

No.
I'm just gonna type everything that comes to mind and maybe that'll make me feel better.

Isn't it funny how someone can hurt you so much and somehow you forgive? You suddenly find yourself being the person you once criticized. You truly never know until you're put into the situation.
I never believed a person when they said they were happy. I mean.. thats a bit absurd to me. I think all people are sad. In their own way, but nonetheless sad. I dont think its possible to be completely happy.


Time to go.
Thats all for now.

Somethings not right

Ah. Today was no different.
I still feel weird, emotional, sad....angry. I just snap at people really easily. I dont even care about tomorrow. I just want it to be Sunday already. I'm sure it'll be better than tomorrow. Stubborn has been getting on my nerves. Its her way or no way. what a bitch. the only reason she wants a hotel room is to have sex with her boyfriend.

Ah well the day was blahhh. i shouldnt have gone home for my filler. it only made me really sad.


i keep thinking of things/people that have made me mad. i just want this feeling to go away.


im renewing my license on tuesday or wednesday. im thinking of just not going to school at all that day. i have to be there at seven or a little bit before.

I tried napping a little bit ago. but once again Friend called. he has been recently. I really wanted to talk to Smooshie though. I still do. He's napping, i dont want to disturb him. I'm trying to find the right words to express how i'm feeling. is it possible for a period to do this to a girl? its never affected me this much. if its that. im not even completely sure.

i have to go get my eyebrows done or something. and find someone who'll do my hair.
how annoying...

they'll be more later.

You're not sorry. I suppose you care.

Today was different.
Didnt start out so well.
I had a nightmare last night and woke up scared. I stayed for 2 hours just laying there. I finally dozed off and morning came to soon.
My emotions from yesterday carried through and the dream didnt help any. Smooshie had to go to UIL and off i went to first period. On the way there i couldnt help but notice how people treat eachother. It was odd to me.
I was really emotional. Angry. I wanted to cry. I was late today.
I walked into class and said hi to Hormones. i ended up telling him i was on my period and he just left. figuresss. at least i know he wont touch me for the next week. I dont think he would anyways. He's afraid of Smooshie. Hormones accused me of touching his butt. I think he was mocking me after i thought about it. oh wells.
After that, I was talking to Ego, Speechless, and Mrs. Collins about basketball! We were having a good time until.... hmm. I dont know what to call this next person. I'll call him... FORCEFUL! haha :] Well Forceful completely butted into the conversation. He started talking to me and by the time i left him speechless the conversation i was having before was dead :[
the juniors had to take a quiz so i continued my worksheet. in the middle of it my eyes welled up and i let out a tear. i quickly wiped it away. i didnt want anyone to see. it would only make it worse, since i didnt have a reason to be crying in the first place (other than my mood swings).
Clingy texted me this morning as always. I think its weird how all he says is goodmorning and thats all for the day. Why? i should ask. but the name fits.

Frustration told me about his bad day in second period. I didnt think it was that bad. What an idiotttt.
I talked to Rythmn and i wanted to hit him. He always puts down Colorguard.
We were having Middle School UIL today so they took over the dance and choir rooms. So for choir we went to the band hall. There was a dance class in the small band hall and they were getting my nerves. They left the restroom so disgusting, i wanted to hit them.

During guard period i came up with a little portion of the routine (that i have yet to master). Sister recorded me! I ended up cursing at the flag when i messed up. Tee hee :] It was on camera and they all got so excited. I completely forgot Mrs. Taylor was in there. I'm sure she heard. This period was my favorite of the day.

I made salad again in my nutrition class. it was better than the last one! it had pickle relish in it though. so nastyyyyyyyyy. I got over it. lunchlunchlunch! I had it with Smooshie today. Made me happy :]
I went back to class and Alcoholic was telling me about her weekend. And then Unicorn was getting on my nerves for awhile. I swear, I dont need to know that you have a passion for singing every half hour. I know. I GET IT. Slut.

Biology was fun as well! I'm not sure i named this person already. Oh wells. I will fix it later if i did. Dont think so though. Anyways, we had to take eachothers blood pressure! One per group and i was the guinea pig (or hamster! :D) Indecisive took mine and my arm felt like it was going to explode. So Blackberry did it.
Itchy's arm turned purple. I found it quite amusing. :D Mr. Too Soon made me laugh as always. i forgot what he said. but more than half the things he says are hilarious.

After that i went with Smooshie so he could take his test. I had to go see my english teacher for a bit though. I was supposed to decorate her wall, but one of her classes did it! i was disappointed. I went back with Smooshie and he finished his test pretty quick then we had to go to the band hall to get his suit. So Blackberry and I stayed in the small band hall. We used the flags and not so much the rifles. It was really fun :D
Afterschool, afterschool.
Smooshie came with me! We went to go pick up my brother and we watched Tyra! :] He had to leave soon though.

Now i'm here.
Thats all for now.

Thief!

I've decided to start blogging again.
Lets get right to it.
Try to decode the people. It'll be fun :]

Last night I slept pretty comfortably. It took me about a half hour to get up as usual. I watched Boy Meets World! Ahh my favorite show off all time :]
Hmm, my day was nice I suppose. Nothing out of the ordinary except that I'm cramping.
Schoolschoolschool.
precal was calm. Rainbow Bright was being quiet today up until he started bitching about my english teacher. She's going to be called Plath. Hormones actually said hi to me today, he hasn't in awhile since Smooshie hits him when he goes too far with me :] And... he went to far with his hug today so he got punched later in the day.
In english we continued our test and Frustration doesnt talk to me as much. Its a good thing :] Curls was being quiet today. And she didnt walk with me like she usually does after class. I already knew what was going on, she was waiting for Manwhore. Up until now, i've been the only one who hasn't bitched about her dating him. But.. its getting hard not to say anything.
ay..
third period is choir. we just sang as always...
in guard class we continued learning/creating the routine for spring show. we dont have much time and we need to finish soon. Blondie was kind of annoying today. While Fuete was teaching me the flag part, I heard Blondie yelling at Sister. It made me really angry and I wanted to tell her to shutup but i controlled myself. i could tell Sister was mad too.
fifth period, Sofa wasnt here so we did nothing. I mostly wrote in the journal i have with Smooshie telling him about my day so far. Though I'm sure I added some things here that i forgot to add in the notebook.
I talked to Annoyance and Blackberry for awhile. then i actually did some of the work that was left for us.
At lunch, I actually talked to Rugrat. well everyone did, he usually has Panda to talk to but he wasnt there today.
In biology i made Itchy a card for his birthday. oh! tomorrow we're going to learn how to measure blood pressure and all and use a stethoscope! tee hee :]
i'm excited, i think i'm gonna be the guinea pig they make run up and down the stairs. I bet. as long as i get to use that stethoscope im okay :D
Then for my filler i decided not to stay with the usual people. I wanted to be by myself today. I went to Walgreens and then to Sallys. I bought these chopsticks for your hair! theyre so cool, im gonna play around with them and see all the hairstyles i can use them with. im so lame.
then i got back and there was about 10 minutes left before school got out. i went to the small band hall and used the flag and rifle. it was fun :] i almost hit myself in the face, but it was fun.

My little 3 minute walks with Smooshie are always my favorite parts of the day. I always end up doing something stupid and it usually ends with him laughing at me and me pouting. :]
I wanted to take him home with me but he was busy today. It made me sad! >_<


I went to pick up my brother and then went home and ate afterschool. I took like a two hour nap after that and now i'm up.
my mom wants to go to the store later on.

Ugh so guess who made me mad today? Pixy did. She sent me a text message saying that she couldnt get me a job at applebees like she said before. I didnt get mad at that, but the way she said it. I got over it though.

I saw Sports Medicine today! I hardly ever see her anymore. I feel like Pixy and I are in a competition to see who can get closer to her. I dont know, its weird to explain. But she's winning.

I've been mean today. I wonder how i'll be tomorrow.
I hope i can sleep tonight.